There is darkness that exists. In the bible Lucifer is the antagonist who tries to lure the Jewish people into those dark corners, to give into the desires that are antithetical to their true principals. The Jinn in ancient Arab religious beliefs attempt the same through wishes. We can say spiritually and metaphorically those forces do not exist outside of us, but inside of us, and that the construction of magic is within our power.

For most of my life I have journaled in my trusty black and white composition notebooks. I have expressed my anger and rage towards those I felt wronged me. Juxtaposed were desires to rise above my situation, to feel free and empowered. I worked through my desire to crush my adversaries into recognizing that to do so would cause severe consequences for them, ones beyond my control, and ultimately would bring harm to me tenfold. I would repeat this cathartic process over and over. Writing truly saved my life.

I believe that what is meant for me to have, I will have, and I am responsible for manifesting what I want. There are of course things beyond my control, but I cannot focus on that. Possessing a magical diary, whether it be of good or evil, takes away my agency. It would make my life dependent upon that object, and that my own magic would be poured into that as well.

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