Normal is Normal

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I have held conversations with several people who desperately want to return to the way things were prior to the pandemic, the common phrase being, “I can’t wait for things to return to some kind of normalcy”.  It is understandable. Humans fare horribly having to deal with restrictions.

After all, we are social creatures, and need physical interaction to maintain a semblance of mental health, which affects our physical bodies as well. This has been the subject of hundreds of podcasts, social media posts, blogs, television shows, and so on.

There is, however, a gross misconception when it comes to the word normal. We have come to know it as something healthy. Is it? Let’s examine the definition. According to the dictionary, normal means “conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.” It is a logical, objective definition, devoid of any emotional attachment.

Yet, we believe what is normal is what everyone should be doing. Normal is the standard, but is it always correct? At one time chattel slavery in this country was normal, until it was prohibited. For certain cultures in Africa, Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) was normal. Now, fortunately, it is being outlawed and stamped out.

In fact, there are many practices around the world that violate human rights that are considered normal. There are incessant debates over what is culturally relative and what is the moral and ethical imperative.

For years I attempted to distinguish the difference between what is normal and what is the norm in society. Revisiting the definition, I saw how incorrect I was, for I too believed that normal denotes some sort of health and wellness.

So, when someone says to you, “why can’t you just be normal,” ask them, what do you mean by normal?

I also think about my own contradictions, as I juxtapose the belief that everyone’s definition of normal is different, alongside the belief that we need to adhere to some societal traditions of normal. Though my palette is unique to me, I have grown accustomed to certain mainstream things, and I have learned that when certain things are introduced to society that are deemed alternative and not normal, even though I applaud and support them, I can also be judgmental and critical of them. I have to be careful of the latter, lest I become hypocritical.

If we are tribal by nature, how much of an individual can we be? Perhaps it is about degrees, that we hold these two principles in our same body, and we operate with this understanding.

Now it makes sense to me when people talk about a “new normal”, that it simply means the new standard, or the new usual, typical, and expected way of doing things. It is conceivable that wearing masks, getting booster shots, and doing home Covid tests will become a part of this.

We were already moving toward hybrid working; the pandemic only accelerated that. Despite companies wanting to return to the old normal of all of their employees being housed in one building, that has become unrealistic for employees are resisting, even quitting to find jobs that will accommodate their new normal, or to start their own business to have control over their working lives.

Referring to my previous post, we need to remove this romantic notion that our normal will ever be anything close to a utopia. That is not just a human construct, it can never manifest. We simply are not wired for that. Our behavior is too complicated, too complex, and too flawed for a utopia to be achieved. Our commonly shared path – my assumption of course – is to work to become the best versions of ourselves, to create the kind of normal that will serve as many people as possible.

Then again, it is normal for everyone to have their own agenda, which is why we are tribal in nature. There will never be a national agenda. We only come together in times of crisis for the sake of survival. We are merely a collection of individuals, trying to stave off extinction.

I remember one semester teaching journalism in a high school. I decided as an exercise to have the classroom engage in a debate. They were required to pick a topic, do the research, and then debate on it.

The topic they chose was, should marijuana be legalized? Opposing teams were drawn, they went about their preparation, and the debate began.

One of the male students on the pro-legalization side was debating a female student. His argument went like this: “I smoke weed. She doesn’t smoke weed. She don’t have to smoke weed, but I’m going to smoke weed.” It was a simple libertarian argument that scored points for his side, for she had no counter.

It is normal in our country to do what we want in our private lives as long as we do not harm others, so much so that it was written in the Constitution as such, and we have been practicing it for over 250 years – well, all of us for the last 50 years.

Much of what we argue against as not being normal simply does not hold water. It is not just about human rights; our establishment of a new normal is about logic and reason. There is no logical, reasonable explanation to continue to list marijuana as a Schedule One drug. It is not a gateway drug, it is not addictive, and it does not lead to criminal activity.

It will take a long time to undo what the Marijuana Stamp Act of 1937, and what Richard Nixon in 1971 enacted with his Drug War, and make it federally legal so that users can move freely about the country. It will be unsettling for a certain segment of the population, but they will just have to get used to it being normal.

And as tattoos, that were primarily worn by sailors and outlaws became normal, so will so many other things in this society.

It is important to distinguish what is normal and what is healthy. As Morgan Spurlock documented in Super Size Me, eating McDonalds for 30 days in a row is not healthy. Eating a plant-based diet, is. I know, that was an extreme example.

Again, we are complicated, complex, and flawed. We recycle, and we pollute our waters. We create green spaces for gardening and to grow food, and we destroy rainforests to raise cattle for mass meat production. We make solar and wind power, and we make plastics that will never degrade. This is all normal for us.

Having said all of this, pre-pandemic, were we ever interacting normally? Whether it was house gatherings with jazz music and wine and hors d'oeuvres, or knock down brawls with the audience fiercely cheering them on as they shouted “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!”, chances are, we were.