In the film Darlin’, a feral teenager walks into a Catholic hospital to help her with her pregnancy. The local parish is notified, and its bishop quickly sees that this is an opportunity to resurrect his failing reign, and to signal to his immanence that this local Catholic church can remain solvent.

Darlin’ is immediately transported to St. Philomena’s, a catholic boarding school.

Of course, it horrifically backfires. First, the Bishop believes he can tame the wild feral child. As the naturally lived Darlin’ is gradually transformed into the obedient Catholic foster care girl – or so everyone thinks – he reveals other motives.

Yes, you guessed it. This one has been sexually molesting his female flock. However, when he asks Darlin’ to undress herself, to appear nude before him as Eve did in the garden, she reveals her pregnant form, and he is instantly repulsed and commands her to redress herself and evacuate his quarters.

All the while, The Woman, who has been caring for Darlin’ before she escorted her to the hospital and disappearing back into the wilderness from which they came, has been tracking her since she was taken and brought to the church.

The Woman paves a path of destruction, picking up a few homeless sex worker allies along the way for the final confrontation at special ceremony in the church. With the immanence in observance, the Bishop’s sex crimes are revealed by Gina, a nun and Bishop’s assistant, who plays a recording of their conversation where he implicates himself.

The tagline for the film is ‘Don’t Mess with Mother’s Nature’. One ethical way of viewing this is, don’t treat one as a mere means, or else you will suffer the consequences.

The principle of Mere Means comes from 18th Century German philosopher Immanuel Kant, who lived during the Age of Enlightenment, or Age of Reason. He developed Deontology, an ethical theory that uses rules for right or wrong actions.

It has a secular similarity to the Ten Commandments, such as “thou shall not kill”, and “thou shall not steal”, the idea being that one should not steal or kill, and that if one is allowed to do so, then everyone should be allowed.

Kant stated in his Formula of Humanity, “…act that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means.”

There are predators in this world who have engaged in the most nefarious and egregious practices, similar to the aforementioned male characters in the two films, some of whom have been apprehended, prosecuted and convicted in the most public way. Countless books, television shows and films are dedicated to profiling these real-life characters.

However, the average person does not operate this way. I would speculate that for the most part, we operate on a fairly moderate altruistic level. We give to others, as we balance giving to ourselves and our families. The holiday season is an example where we ramp up our giving in empathy of those who are less fortunate than we are.

However, do we on occasion treat others as a mere means?

Our initial reaction would be that we don’t take advantage of others, or look at others as objects. We certainly strive to our best ability possible, to reciprocate with others, to collaborate, to leave the other person or people feeling like they have gained something from our transactions, whether they be monetary or in-kind.

We can point to others as examples of this treatment. The one at the business socials who only speaks to you with interest when they are seeking the inside information or contact that you possess, or someone who constantly asks you for ideas for a project, but does not give you any credit when they publicly launch.

Years ago, I was competing in a poetry slam at The Baltimore Book Festival, the last year it was hosted in the Mount Vernon community. It was clear that I won the slam. I received a rousing ovation from the audience. However, I lost the competition.

Afterwards a friend of mine told me that one of the judges, whom I knew, did not vote for me because he was jealous of me. I was appalled. Then, the sullied judge had the unmitigated gall to inquire about the Maryland State Arts Council Individual Artist Grant I won the year before. My friend escorted him to where I was, where he proceeded to ask me how I got it, and what he needed to do to get one.

I could have easily raked him over the coals for how he treated me, and that I was not going to give him any information. Instead I told him what he needed to do. My thinking was this. I am not going to stoop to his level, and the information was public anyway. I did not have any magical inside information or connections to help him. It was something he could obtain from the Council. I competed for the grant like everyone else. He would have to get it on his own merits.

It was obvious that he was only thinking of himself, simultaneously having a contempt for me for whatever status he thought I had as a local artist. It was pitiful to me, but it just demonstrated that there are those who will treat others as a mere means to get what they want.

I worry at times that when I approach someone for assistance with resources or something, they do not think I am only using them, especially if I have not seen them in a while. I think to myself, I hope they are not thinking, why is he contacting me? A good amount of time has passed since we communicated. Is he only reaching out to me because he wants something?

I believe my intentions are good, but I am only in my shoes. I want to believe that the other person does not believe I have ulterior motives. I have no idea how they really feel unless they communicate that to me.

Personally, I have volunteered my time, energy, and resources far more than I have gotten paid. Sometimes it was in the hopes, or expectations, that there would be reciprocity, and when it didn’t happen, I was hurt. Overall, however, it was my choice.

It is true that there are times when we willingly allow ourselves to be treated as a mere means if we feel we can gain something from it. We must, however, be understanding of the potential consequences, and be okay with it.

We know when we are treating others this way, and must accept the consequences accordingly.

So, while I must be vigilant about being treated as a mere means, I also must be the same way so that I don’t put myself in that position. I cannot expect that people will treat me the same way that I treat them. Conversely, I must make sure I am treating others as I want to be treated.

This is the season of giving, as they say, and many of us are filled with the joy that it brings. There are times when we will identify others as means to help us do something greater than us, to make our communities a little bit better. May we be inspired to be this way all year.

Otherwise, the consequences may be more feral than we think.